G is for "The Devil's Dictionary" (No. 92 in a series)

The Devil's Dictionary is a satirical dictionary written by Ambrose Bierce (1842-c.1914, caricatured above by David Levine). Bierce was an American author who began the book as a newspaper serial. First published in 1906 as The Cynic's Word Book, it was retitled in 1911, using the name we know it by today, which is the title that Bierce preferred. Some of the definitions have not aged all that well, but many have.

GHOST, n. The outward and visible sign of an inward fear . . . . There is one insuperable obstacle to a belief in ghosts. A ghost never comes naked: he appears either in a winding-sheet or "in his habit as he lived." To believe in him, then, is to believe that not only have the dead the power to make themselves visible after there is nothing left of them, but that the same power inheres in textile fabrics.