Sunday, October 30, 2022

G is for "The Devil's Dictionary" (No. 91 in a series)


The Devil's Dictionary is a satirical dictionary written by Ambrose Bierce (1842-c.1914, caricatured above by David Levine). Bierce was an American author who began the book as a newspaper serial. First published in 1906 as The Cynic's Word Book, it was retitled in 1911, using the name we know it by today, which is the title that Bierce preferred. Some of the definitions have not aged all that well, but many have.


GEOLOGY, n. The science of the earth's crust—to which, doubtless, will be added that of its interior whenever a man shall come up garrulous out of a well. The geological formations of the globe already noted are catalogued thus: The Primary, or lower one, consists of rocks, bones or mired mules, gas-pipes, miners' tools, antique statues minus the nose, Spanish doubloons and ancestors. The Secondary is largely made up of red worms and moles. The Tertiary comprises railway tracks, patent pavements, grass, snakes, mouldy boots, beer bottles, tomato cans, intoxicated citizens, garbage, anarchists, snap-dogs and fools.